If you race an FVJ you are going to need these....one day

[Dermot Healy]

FVJ/VanDiemen inner & outer rear hub flange assembly

One sunny day you are going to be happily chatting in the paddock (probably 30 mins before your race) and you'll suddenly
notice rather too much movement in one of the rear wheels. After much rushing about you'll decide that it is just that the big centre hub nut has worked loose, so you'll tighten it & set off hopefully. In fact you are not likely to be able to tighten the hub nut effectively, as really you need to remove the drive shaft to hold the bolt the other side....but anyway....even if you do manage to tighten it, you'll find it will mysteriously undo again.

Then, of course, somebody will tell you that the rear wheel bearing must have collapsed so you buy some new bearings, take the thing apart, struggle to get the bearing out & eventually get it all back together feeling extraordinarily virtuous. It will all seem fine. Then you'll go out for qualifying, but towards the end of the session the brakes will feel a little funny and perhaps the car will feel a bit squirmy- but, you will think, oh that is just the brakes getting a bit hot & perhaps there is oil down. Thirty minutes before the race you'll just give that rear wheel a nudge - proud of your work - and find you can rock it side to side just like before! But...If you are really unlucky ....you'll not notice it. Out you'll go and after a few laps the brakes will feel very funny & if you keep going there will be some very odd noises when the rear brake disc cracks away from its centre & the hub and everything becomes so very scary

After you've been hauled back to the paddock by surprisingly large gentlemen dressed in chic Guantanamo overalls, trailered it home depressed (...it was going really well until etc etc), then taken it all apart again , you then realise that the cause of all these problems is that the splines which mate the inner & outer hub flanges are not a nice tight fit but have a little bit of play in them. Thus, tighten the big centre bolt as much as you like & it will feel fine in the workshop, but once on the track, each time you go on & off the throttle the thing will undo itself.

You then decide to do the job properly & replace the flanges....so you'll Google VanDiemen & all sorts of very helpful people in Norfolk (many of whom seem to be called Simon) & all of whom will happily sell you wheel bearings...but, no, they wont have the flanges. Then you'll speak to a very nice man in Brighton who will try to sell you his Dallara or his Formula Fords....but won't have any flanges. ...but probably will be too busy talking, so won't have heard what you wanted anyway.

Then, of course, you'll think - this is silly - these are just simple bits of metal ,why cant they be 'repaired'? Because you are confident, youthful and positive (and probably work in IT) you'll Google further and find a company that can 'reclaim' damaged metal components using innovative modern techniques (..though the fact that they are located in a shed under a Birmingham motorway junction & the phone number on the door still reads 021 rather than 0121 might make you question their modernity)...Still, you'll get to know them and that doorway well. You'll leave the components and call hopefully in 10days to find that they are exactly where you left them...you'll keep calling every week or two to be told " we'll be on with them in the morning" until after about 4 months (well you weren't going to do many races this year anyway) it will dawn on you that these people are never ever going to do anything with them.......and you'll make that now very familiar journey to recover your components & Google further. Of course, when you get there the roadways will have all changed since your last visit, the place will be all surrounded by smart security fencing & notices about 'site safety' &' caring construction' & the shed will have been demolished & the contents disappeared to make way for a new B&Q. The proprietors will have disappeared too....off to do unsavoury things in Bangkok. Your flanges will have been consigned to scrap, to be melted down & recycled, coming back incorporated in the latest Kia Colostomy or Nissan Rectum.

Then you'll realise you should have bought the nice pair of flanges i am offering for a mere £100 inc delivery.....but it will be
TOO LATE 'cos they will have gone & no more to be had.

You know it makes sense

07703-162409

[tony edwards]

I havent got a FVJ, but i almost feel like i need them anyway...

[stevengriffin]

Are they the gold coloured things that fit inside the hub/bearing thingy? Six long bolts and some nuts that always undo themselves?

[guilleracing]

I have been unable to resist!


A cheque is winging its way to Dermot as I type!

Greg.